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I want to see you again
The day passed this year, I took several days off work to get my brain as straight as possible passing the day we had to lose our chance at a in the . I've never felt so much pain emanate from a human being as did you on that day, I prayed so hard that god would have some sort of for the , and then later on for you. I had to lose both of you at once, it haunts me everyday that I couldn't be good enough for you. Even finding out my type didn't alleve my guilt, even though I know I couldn't have physiy saved you, I know that I wasn't the best I could be for you all the time. I was put on this earth to take care of people and the one woman I was blessed to love me for everything that I was didn't get the time she deserved. I thought we had longer so I was trying to focus on getting ahead at my job so we could have a future together. If I'd known our time would be so brief I'd have stayed at my original job even though it make me sick just so I could have spent more mornings waking up to your beautiful face. It's been months, it's supposed to get better but it doesn't, the hole is still gaping in my chest. I still wake up screaming at night, I still wake up reaching out to text you and knowing that I can't. I tried to be with another woman just to try and see if I could make some kind of human connection still, but people are so fickle, I don't feel that fire I felt with you, still feel with you. I don't feel my heart lift anymore, I felt alive from the minute I met you, even as as I was, just meeting sex personals Masonville you put my heart to flames. I wanted so badly to be everything for you, from morning night, you were and are the last thought on my mind. I keep playing and drinking at night, just to try and get some semblance of , I keep hoping I'll die in my sleep so I can hold you again. I could never do anything to end my life prematurely, I know I have things I need to get done, it's just so difficult without you. I keep trying to help people, even though they don't deserve it, I talked to a guy who just the worst kind of person and I kept trying to explain to him i could help him if he'd let me but he kept being a . I see people throwing these huge fits over such small things and I feel compelled to help them anyways, because I know you'd do it if you had the chance. I keep trekking on, I just get so tired of holding all this inside the time, but I can't keep draining other people by repeating myself. I just wanted you to know that I love you, more than I can put to words, and I hope that whatever beyond is something beautiful, because you deserved it. I wish everyday that I could have traded the rest of my life to save yours, I'd have died happy knowing you could have been part of this world longer and got the chance to be a mom. My dreams of being a father don't even want to stand anymore because it feels unfair to you, and I don't want anyone living with my demons like this, I just want to pass out of this world and take my genetics with me. I hope to find you again soon honey, you're always in my thoughts.
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home alone m4w
im a married man with three boys lookin for sum one to chat exchange pics and hopfully hook up with in trinadad ud have to come to me 
